I dreampt to keep going through it

I had a suicide pact with this guy, an artist, I think part Russian and part Chinese. We had a machine that traveled back and forth, all over time and place to find the best way and area era to do it in, I couldn't understand why he wanted to but when he came close I stared into his eyes and saw the depthless misery, the torture, man's utter inhumanity epitomized and personalized for a simple easy burial. He'd come into life as evil specifically to be sacrificed thus and I embraced him crying "Oh the horror. The horror." We killed him [over and over] in a variety of sadomasochistic ways but the poor man just couldn't stay dead. He kept revivifying himself and he was so deeply afraid of the process of dying that it was terrible and pitiful to see him having to keep going through it.