Stuck at 21

I wound up sitting at a table with Jay
and a bunch of his friends and their
stressful conversation, and I was
smoking pot, like out of a nervous habit,
not in a joint or pipe or anything, in my
dream it was just a long stalk, like a
green wheat-head, and I was
alternately lighting it and smoking it and
dipping it in a glass of water provided for the
purpose so it wouldn’t burn too fast and
just doing that over and over unconsciously
‘cause I was so stressed to have him there
plus also his gender kept blurring just a
little bit and that confused me and
then suddenly I sort of noticed what I
was doing and looked at the glass of
scummy water with seeds floating in it and
sort of threw the stalk down and walked
off in disgust and oh everyone had this
sick cartoon sort of quality to them
and androgynous or blurred gender but in a
really fucked up way, like one person
looking like a 70’s cartoon version of a
beat with long purple hair and eyes
glazed with passion and drugs, slightly rounded chest
and 5:00 shadow on their face of purplish
stubble and freaky itty thighs, like
literally you could wrap a hand
around one – wrist sized and totally
unproportionate and
everything was cast in this weird lighting of
yellows and greens and half the people
there were meant to be dead—

They Got In

06.11.97
01.04.04

[ ]

I was in a college or dorms or
institution of some kind and we’d each been
given a key to unlock something special.
I think mine went to a fishing
boat and someone else had the key to
church and another person held the
key to the computers but this one
kid went around talking and conniving
and sneaking the keys from us one by
one until he had them all and I
was the first to give him mine
and I could have joined him except
I realized how evil he was and
the rest of us locked ourselves in the
institution main building and they
were all vampire clustered outside
howling grinning and I guess after
awhile they got in.